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BLOG>07/01-31/05 SUNDAY FEATURE ("Leisure Church" 1) Take a look at the July24th issue to get the background for this entry. What would a leisure-oriented church look like? How would this style church meet the needs of a growing number of young adults in the USA? One of the distinct characteristics of a leisure oriented church is that it would be open for "business" continuously and there would be opportunity for connections with others who are seeking on a regular basis. The current expression of church that I know best is open on Sunday morning before noon. There are other options during the week, and some people choose those options, yet the most common offering is an hour to and hour and a quarter on Sunday mornings. Like the sabbath prescriptions of weekly worship of the Hebrew Scriptures, Sunday morning has become a standard fixture in much of the world. I have made my living by preparing for Sunday mornings. But is this the only way to look at the future? A church that is truly oriented toward leisure (quality time with God and others seeking God) will provide numerous opportunities for worship and the experience of God through the week. Sunday morning would be just one opportunity of many. Services of daily prayer and praise at convenient times and places, chapels and prayer rooms for drop-in prayers and meditation, lounges and reading rooms for people to meet after work, special services and sacramental worship that meet at times other than Sunday morning. This is especially needed for a young adult crowd that is notorious for sleeping through Sunday morning, yet willing to gather at odd and irregular times. Places for worship might resemble the informality and convenience of a coffee shop or pub. The content of worship would include more silence, deep meditation and interaction of the gathered. This will change church as we know it. The pastors/priests of this style church will be busier as worship leaders and spiritual guides than in the present system where administration and pastoral care seem to dominate. This style church would appear to be more like an ancient Catholic parish and would depend on the cooperation of a larger group of folks leading and preparing for worship. Worship spaces and places of meditation will become smaller and more oriented to a drop-in crowd. This style church would probably be less structured and time oriented, and more geared toward individual spiritual journeys. Reflect on your latest visit to a place of worship--how would "leisure church" make a difference for you. FRIDAY TRAVEL TIPS I am coming to the end of a three week trip back in the USA. I have put a bunch of miles on a rental, car spent many hours on a plane, and quite a few nights in a motel or a family home. Here are a few insights from being a home leave warrior: When possible, leave stuff packed- When I lost track of something or misplaced an item, it always happened when I unpacked my suitcase and hung something up/put it in a drawer. Things stayed in place when left in the suitcase...not bad advice for the normal traveler. Do an inventory regularly- How many credit cards do you have with you? Where's your driver's license, plane tickets, etc.? Cash is available nearly everywhere, don't carry as much- Unlike any trip I have made to the USA before, cash machines are frequently available. Make yourself less of a target and carry less cash. There is a great bookstore in nearly every town- I have been nowhere that I couldn't find a great bookstore. Without spending much money, I can always entertain myself for long periods of time in every city. (Two of special mention- Malaprops in Asheville, NC; Davis & Kidd in Nashville) Find an out of the way diner for character- Every time I am in Waynesville, NC I sneak away to Ammons Dairy Bar for hot fudge cake. It is not only good food at a good price, but there are characters that have been there for ten years. Rise early for a sunrise- I know there are folks who are not morning people, but there is nothing like sunrise in the mountains. Put it on your "to do" list. STRESS (Quitting the rat race?) One of my regular readers sent me a copy of an article from their hometown paper. It was an Associated Press article so it was found in many hometown papers. I found it online on the The Cincinnati Post: Quitting the Rat Race. Consider a CEO of a Fortune 500 company cashing out and becoming a farmer and enjoying himself thoroughly. Or a major VP beginning to work at home because her daughter says she does not want to become like her when she grows up. You may know folks like these--you may be folks like these. Work-life balance is becoming more of a trend among a population that is growing older and wealthier, and workers are demanding more flexibility and control over their work hours. The Leisure Guy has witnessed the beginning of this trend, but I am guessing it will be years before the majority of workers will have found the balance they need and desire. Some questions: What
would it take for you to cash out and live a simpler life?
What
kind of support would you need to have more balance in your life?
What
is the most rewarding thing that your career offers? (Could you survive
without it?)
Would
your children want to live your life? (Is it a problem for you if they
don't?)
How
would you use new found freedom and flexibility if given it?
HUMP DAY HUMOR (What women really want...) This bit of humor is for a faithful reader in Memphis, TN. God knows he must be bored to death at work to be reading The Leisure Guy, but I do know that he struggles with women (he is just one of us males, we all do). Ran across this study from England online, decided that it was something to share for all those burned out with dating and the life of romance. I also decided that I have squandered my Ph.D. in recreation when I could have been studying something useful like romance and the love life of women all these years. And the best way to woo women is... tells us that some researchers at Imperial College in London developed a mathematical formula to explain the courtship process. (I would have continued studying math if I thought there was half a chance that it would explain such things). So, the news you have all been waiting for (it is statistically significant):
SIMPLE LIFE A constant refrain from busy managers and people: "Gosh, life was so simple once." Yep, it was simple alright. When you had no money, no assets, no responsibilities, things were simple. Now you are pulling down a good salary, have a house, a car and rooms full of stuff, and 2.2 kids and a dog. Life can get pretty complicated. It worked that way in the office too. Once you were just another worker bee, with some deadlines, and a boss that checked up on you to make sure that things got done. Now you have people under you, and you are the one reminding a bunch of worker bees what side of the hive the honey is on. Work gets complicated on the other side of the desk. How can you simplify your life and work and make it a less complicated endeavor? Here are some tips from The Leisure Guy, who is admittedly on vacation in July, yet knows what it means to take his life and job a little lighter during the rest of the year. Maybe some of these will work for you: Use technology well- learn how to use your computer, cell phone, iPod, PDA, etc. the day you get it. When all of this stuff works, and works together, it will actually simplify your life. What complicates life is technology that does not work--and technology without awareness. Turn off technology regularly- after you learn to use it, learn to turn it off. Life will always be hectic if you take every call, leave the email coming and try to keep up continuously with information glut. Plan time to exercise- this is key for me. It is a regular appointment when I am in work mode. I even try to keep a schedule of it on vacation. Three to four sessions a week on the calendar held sacred like a trip to the dentist will not only bring more balance to your life, it will make you feel better. Plan meal times- maybe not every night, but regularly with folks you call family and friends. The regular appointment (which you will treat like a client--no interruptions and focus) will bring balance to your life, and to your nutrition. Postpone every purchase over $100 dollars for at least a week- Many times I realize that I truly didn't need that thing if I waited a week before buying. (Want some discipline in your life--try a $50 dollar limit). Less things, less to keep up with. Shop for the best quality for the money- I learned long ago that cheap stuff often gets me into trouble--high quality stuff at a good price almost never does. I spent a little more on my computer, but I have almost never called the support desk or gotten repairs (and when I did, it was very simple). When I buy a car, I shop around for the best I can get for the money--and I look seriously at after market repair statistics. The last truck I owned was 8 years old and had one repair beyond regular maintenance. That came out to a total of $20 dollars per year in repairs. That's simple. Read about simplicity- I happened across this magazine in a fitness club yesterday...I think it is pretty good (women will love it, men might tolerate it)- www.realsimple.com BURNOUT-Warning Signs 5 Here's another sign that shows among those suffering burnout: frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbances. People who are struggling with their jobs and who exhibit evidence of emotional exhaustion, difficulty with people, and decreased sense of personal accomplishment, often show it through tension in the body. For many people, that tension is lived out through headaches and stomach problems (also, lower back pain could be another sign of bodily stress). There are many causes of these ailments that may not be related to burnout, but if accompanied with other similar signs, it is highly possible. So the question is, how do you deal with these signs in an effective manner? Drink plenty of water- headaches and stomach disturbances are often related to dehydration. If you are fully hydrated, some of the other stress relievers have a better chance of working Distancing from job- In this 24/7 work environment, it is important to place some limits on your contact with work in order to relax and deal with physical problems. Make the decision to not receive calls or check email after certain hours. Ask clients not to call after certain hours (or charge them premium rates for after hours calls) Find time to close eyes and sit still during the day- this is a simple stress reliever that I have used for years. Closing your eyes is crucial to relieving headaches because of the effects of light sensitivity. Sitting still will help relieve headaches and stomach disturbances. Lie flat while cutting off the noise- This is a great prescription for basic relief from headaches and gastrointestinal disturbances (maybe even a good nap). Lie on the floor in a dark room without noise (no TV, radio, CD, etc.). Fifteen or twenty minutes is usually enough to make a difference. SUNDAY FEATURE (Mega Church Burnout) I am on a couple of news search engines...one of them looks for articles on "burnout." Most of those stories end up being about the video game by the same name, and occasionally there will be a story about burnout in corporate America. This week I was alerted to a story about a young adult burned out with mega-churches (See: Clint Rainey: Mega burnout: The younger crowd has had its fill of big, flashy churches). I decided that this might be the perfect topic for the Sunday Feature for the Leisure Guy. Seems that Clint Rainey spent ten years in a church in Dallas that went from a few hundred to 10,000 worshippers on Sunday. Pretty impressive growth by any definition. The megachurch has been the model for churches much of the last decade in the USA, but their future is not certain if Rainey speaks for his generation. The theology of many megachurches runs counter to the hellfire and brimstone churches of my youth (and that is not a bad thing), but what often gets practiced in today's megachurches misses some of the strengths of those small to medium size churches (community, belonging, personal). The megachurch is reaching middle-age folks like myself left and right. We are the cocoon generation that really doesn't desire great community, but instead likes to be entertained and then given an easy exit. We know TV and movies and rock concerts better than any generation before us, so why wouldn't our church look like our world? But I have been following the generations following us baby boomers, and they are not as easily taken in by behemoth churches and marketing strategies. Some are actually retreating to churches that have rejected the glitz of the megachurch for simplicity and spirituality.As Rainey puts it, his generation is looking for everything his parent's generation isn't--religion, meaning. So what does this have to do with the Leisure Guy? I have been working for two decades in local churches. I have been listening to young adults like Rainey and hearing their craving for a different approach to church--one that isn't being met by the megachurch or the old-style traditional church. There is a desire for something that resembles rest, stillness, silence, meditation and contemplation. They are looking for a church that embodies the best of the meaning of sabbath, and enables people to experience forgiveness and grace in a community. Leisure from a faith perspective is quality time with God and other believers. The Leisure Guy will try to flesh this out more completely in upcoming weeks. FRIDAY HUMOR...(It is vacation after all) Hump day came and went, but not without a little humor found online. "White Lies Help Computer Users" I discovered a news story about how computer users use their computers/technology to get out of their work place or fake going to work..There is a new book entitled: White Collar Slacker's Handbook which outlines some of the things workers are doing. Very common among them is forwarding phone calls, emails and instant messages to cell phones.Back dating emails and using background sounds to imitate the work place are easily pulled off by shrewd computer users. Instant messenger can be used from home to suggest that you are in the office, and if a message is sent while on the road it can be forwarded to a cell phone as a text message. I guess I find this humorous because for some people, the ruse is more complicated and difficult than actually telling the truth or doing the work at the office. I can just imagine a number of friends and colleagues trying to pull off the forwarding of text messages and the like. Here are a few comments: Your
work place is way too inflexible if you can't get off early or work
from home on an occasional basis.
The
workday is already too long with cell phones, lap tops, and other technology
that extends the working life to 24/7--it may be necessary to turn your
technology technology off to get the peace and quiet often needed.
If
you are forwarding email and messages to your cell phone, you are still
working...and it is real inconvenient to reply from a cell phone.
ROAD WARRIOR FEATURE Truly, I have been a "road warrior" since being back in the USA. I have traveled well over a thousand miles in a rental car across the South and have stayed in a few hotels. Here are some things that I have learned in the process... There are more internet hot spots than you can shake a stick at. Many hotels advertise free broadband internet. Not all are equal as I discovered on the road. There are many sites out there that will help you find free wi-fi hotspots, I used this one the past two weeks: Wi-Fi Free Spot Road conditions are constantly changing. Wish that I had checked this site before I left on my road trip each day, it would have helped relieve some frustrations. Try: National Traffic and Road Closure Information. Also, nearly every state has a AAA (American Auto Club) site with driving and traffic information. For instance: Carolinas AAA And of course weather conditions are good to keep up with, I use Weather.com There is no reason to hit the road without important information if you don't want to. BURNOUT- Warning Signs 4 After being back in the USA for nearly two weeks, I have pondered this next warning sign: weight loss or gain. If there is a direct and positive relationship between burnout and weight gain/loss (as burnout goes up, weight goes up/down), then much of the USA is threatened by burnout. All the statistics have shown that the USA has been gaining weight over the past 10 years. There is certainly enough visual evidence that people are heavier. Weight gain is a complex issue. There are numerous explanations for this overall weight gain that are not connected to job burnout--less opportunities for moderate exercise, larger food portions, confusing information about diet and nutrition, genetic predispositions. etc. But there are factors that can be linked to weight gain/loss that could certainly lead to an increase in job burnout: Poor eating habits- people on the edge of, or suffering burnout are often working under pressure and overworking on a regular basis. They start the day without breakfast, snack through the morning, grab a a quick high calories fast food lunch, work late in the evening and eat convenient, often high calorie food for dinner. This is a simple formula for weight gain. Taking control of your menu and eating schedule is an excellent way to begin battling burnout. Over-consumption of alcohol- the stressful schedule of those suffering burnout can lead to more alcohol consumption. Drinking alcohol does not necessarily lead to problem drinking or alcoholism, but it does mean extra calories that are basically without nutrition. Cutting down alcohol consumption can help mediate the effects of stress and burnout. Lack of exercise- In my study of clergy in 1995, it was quite telling that those who regularly got vigorous exercise showed lower signs of burnout. Part of that equation was that these persons took control of their calendar and set aside time to exercise, and another part is that those who exercise are also managing stress and frustration through physical activity. Take control of your life and calendar and set aside time to exercise. Longer commutes and work hours- It is a fact that since the 1980's that work hours are growing longer for the average worker and that commute times have increased. This means that there are fewer hours in the day to take control of than ever before. Eating well and exercising regularly are related to having available time. Taking control of the work week and living conditions is one of the most difficult thing to negotiate in life. But I can point to numerous company executives that live near me who chose their home based on the short commute (a 5 minute walk) and some who successfully manage their work week. Weight gain/loss is not something that can be solved by a fad diet or secret formula, but involves a life of balance that includes moderation and healthy choices in a number of areas. What choices will you make this week? SUNDAY FEATURE (Outdoor Ministry) This past week or so, traveling by car around the South, getting back to my roots, I remembered what led me to get a Ph.D. in recreation to begin with. It all started with my work in the church and more specifically with outdoor ministry. Prior to 1993, almost all my work in the church was in youth ministry and camping ministry. I had led numerous camping, hiking and canoe trips as a local church youth director, and then led them on a different scale as a camp director. I had been schooled in non-competitive gaming, ropes courses, and outdoor adventure, and had been given most of those tools through church and para-church organizations. Later, I went on to get training through recreation and wilderness adventure groups, and was heavily influenced by leadership that had trained with Outward Bound Schools .When I finished seminary in 1986, I went to the University of Maryland to see if I could put together a program that would honor my interests in outdoor adventure programming and Christian ministry. I discovered that it was just not going to happen there, so I focused on the general area within my department- Social Psychology of Leisure, and had a heavy concentration in outdoor recreation. Since completing my Ph.D. in recreation, I have continued to be involved in outdoor ministry, usually in a local church setting. I have been in a position to observe camping and outdoor ministries on the regional level in the church, and have tried to keep up with general trends over the past ten years. I pose some questions that have been on mind for sometime: Camping and outdoor ministry is a highly specialized field, why are there so few courses and programs available among seminaries and divinity schools? I was approached many years back about teaching a course at a seminary related to outdoor ministry. It was not cancelled due to lack of interest from students (there was huge interest in the course as compared to Greek and Hebrew offerings), the lack of interest came from the administration and faculty who did not see it as a useful offering for a seminary. How can we refocus the job descriptions of camp leaders/directors toward programming and teaching/leadership? When I was a camp director, over 75% (maybe more) of my time was spent dealing with facilities and administration. Very little time was spent working directly with campers and programming. In contrast to the volunteer leaders and staff that I would recruit to lead who were able to focus 100% of their time during a camp week/weekend with the campers. Over and over again, I have met camp directors across the country who knew more about fixing a toilet than leading a small group on a camping trip. Even though having a working toilet is essential to a quality camp experience, why is this a key job of a seminary trained individual who might be more effective with a group of youth. How can the church incorporate outdoor ministries more effectively throughout its organization? Currently, outdoor ministry is primarily in the realm of summer camping and weekend retreat facilities. There are many other aspects of outdoor ministry that are being experienced by local churches with almost no trained volunteers or staff. There are numerous programs being offered by local churches that could be considered outdoor ministry, including: hiking, canoeing, rafting, camping, rock climbing, bicycling. I think there are many opportunities to expand the ministry offerings of churches through training and supporting volunteers and paid staff. regional and diocesan bodies should look into the possibilities to expand their programs of outdoor ministry. (By the way, this is the very thing that The Leisure Guy is able to do. Contact me for more information.) SATURDAY
SPORTS They have a full length indoor pool and water rehabilitation facilities. The locker, spa and shower facilities are stellar. There is a a full size indoor gym and some smaller rooms for aerobics and a racquetball court. The indoor walking track is on the second floor and overlooks the pool and gyms, and goes through the weight training room (that may be the only drawback of the facility is that there is a small area where congestion on the track could be difficult because it passes through the training room). The cardio room is full of machines including treadmills, climbers and cycles, and the weight room includes a generous combination of machines and free weights. It is one of the most extensive weight rooms I have encountered in a facility this size. So, next time you are traveling in Western North Carolina, stop by and try out those facilities. You will be impressed. And just down the road, one of the best walking/jogging facilities in the country. Lake Junaluska Assembly has a 5 km path around its lake that is easy on the feet and the eyes. The path is mostly a soft gravel, and some paved sidewalk, and the view is outstanding with the Smoky Mountains surrounding the area. It is well used and the walkers are usually Southern and friendly. If I were to live in Haywood County again, I think I could remain at top fitness. FRIDAY TRAVEL (Real Life) It has been a week of travel for me. I have covered almost 9,000 miles by bus, tram, plane, car. Many more to go before this home leave is over. Here are a few insights from being on the road. Cell phones are helpful- I started my week with my cell phone from japan. i discovered upon landing in Detroit that I could make calls at will. I pay about a dollar a minute, but in an emergency it can't be beat. I bought a prepaid cell phone for the USA that averages about 15 cents per minute, and costs about $80 dollars per year to keep activated (and I can do it all online). Calling cards are useful- I have a calling card that i use in Japan that helps me make calls for about 5 cents per minute to the USA. I can use the same card in the USA for about 12 cents per minute to call USA or Japan. Hotspots are everywhere- when I first went wireless in 2002, it was difficult to pick up a hot spot in many places. Now I can find free ones in many places in the USA, from hotels, to airports, to coffee shops, to restaurants. Keeping up with my email and my blog is getting simpler and simpler. Dial-up numbers are plentiful- on the off occasion I can't find a hot spot, i can dial-up just about anywhere in the country. I discovered Maglobe.com a few years back when traveling to Malaysia and needing access. They have dial-up access all over the world. Just about anywhere in the USA it costs 2-3 cents per minute to dial-up. Can't beat that unless yo can find a free wireless node. Find a Map Online- I have used Yahoo Maps this trip, but there are many companies that provide them. It is very simple to email them to friends and family, and I can have directions printed out for travel door to door. Next Friday, more insights from putting away the miles... FRIDAY TRAVEL (Real Life) It has been a week of travel for me. I have covered almost 9,000 miles by bus, tram, plane, car. Many more to go before this home leave is over. Here are a few insights from being on the road. Cell phones are helpful- I started my week with my cell phone from japan. i discovered upon landing in Detroit that I could make calls at will. I pay about a dollar a minute, but in an emergency it can't be beat. I bought a prepaid cell phone for the USA that averages about 15 cents per minute, and costs about $80 dollars per year to keep activated (and I can do it all online). Calling cards are useful- I have a calling card that i use in Japan that helps me make calls for about 5 cents per minute to the USA. I can use the same card in the USA for about 12 cents per minute to call USA or Japan. Hotspots are everywhere- when I first went wireless in 2002, it was difficult to pick up a hot spot in many places. Now I can find free ones in many places in the USA, from hotels, to airports, to coffee shops, to restaurants. Keeping up with my email and my blog is getting simpler and simpler. Dial-up numbers are plentiful- on the off occasion I can't find a hot spot, i can dial-up just about anywhere in the country. I discovered Maglobe.com a few years back when traveling to Malaysia and needing access. They have dial-up access all over the world. Just about anywhere in the USA it costs 2-3 cents per minute to dial-up. Can't beat that unless yo can find a free wireless node. Find a Map Online- I have used Yahoo Maps this trip, but there are many companies that provide them. It is very simple to email them to friends and family, and I can have directions printed out for travel door to door. Next Friday, more insights from putting away the miles... STRESS (A Classic Resource) I had been looking for a copy of the classic book--The Stress of Life by Hans Selye while home on leave. Found it through Amazon.com used for a few bucks.It was used by a couple of my mentors for classes/workshops, and I have read the book, just never owned a copy. Decided to actually purchase it. The book consists of 21 chapters separated into five books. For an academic book, it a pretty easy read, and it is possible to skim it because of summaries and easy titles and section headings. I will share more from the book in coming weeks, but how about a few quick notes: Stress defined: "the non-specific response of the body to any demand" The stress syndrome, also known as the General Adaptation Syndrome (G.A.S.) develops in three stages: 1) the alarm reaction; 2) the stage of resistance; 3) the stage of exhaustion. Response to stress is a three part mechanism: 1) the direct effect of the stressor on the body; 2) internal response which stimulates tissue defense or help to destroy damaging substances; and 3) internal responses which cause tissue surrender by inhibiting unnecessary or excessive defense. (in easy terms, stress can effect the body directly, and indirectly and can involve not only stimulating the body to stimulate defense mechanisms (good thing)--or can cause actual damage #2 is okay/#3 is not) HUMP DAY HUMOR (Fly the Friendly Skies) I have decided that every day is hump day when you are on vacation. Every day is a threshold to the rest of your week. My travel on Tuesday was quite an adventure full of humor. It started with arrival at the airport, where nobody was in communication with others. The guy at door check-in tells me i can't check-in with him because I have the wrong ticket, so he sends me to line 3. Line 3 tells me that I can't go there because it is for international passengers only. He tells me that the guy at the curb should have handled it. I explained that i was not going back to the door, so he proceeds to show me aa phone to use to check in. That was rather simple, but of course the woman at thee other end asks me why I am talking to her, and I reply, "Just following orders." Can't go wrong doing that can we? After getting checked in, my 11 year old son and i were singled out by TSA as possible terrorists and got to do the pat down and wand between the legs routine in front of God and everybody in Tampa. They tried to explain to me that we were singled out randomly and I laughed. He then said, "Well, not that randomly." I laughed harder, and he said, "Okay, you guys fir the profile." I laughed harder thinking what a suspect my 11 year old son in a Hawaiian print shirt might have been. Me in my Thai silk shirt and shorts and vacation tan, yep that's me, menace to society. Actually, we do fit the profile and have been singled out for special treatment for nearly every domestic flight that I can remember taking in the USA for the past four years. Here are a few of the known variables: foreign mailing address, tickets bought overseas, tickets for a domestic flight not associated with an international flight, one-way and hyper-discounted tickets. Upon arriving in Atlanta, we are greeted with the reality that one bag arrived, and one bag did not. It just so happens that the bag that didn't arrive was my son's that had all the new school clothes that we had just purchased while visiting family. My bag would not have been nearly as devastating, because I can pick all of my things up in a hurry from online stores and the like. The son's bag reflected 15 hours of shopping and much family annoyance. God knows I did not want to go through that all over again. So the latest news is that they have located the bag, but will not disclose its whereabouts or an estimated time of arrival. I suspect that we will decipher the code soon. I am thinking the TSA guy who appeared amused by my laughs at his explanations was behind the loss of the bag--"See who's laughing now big boy," was what he and his colleagues were crowing tonight after their shift. BURNOUT- Warning Signs 3 Signs of burnout: Cynicism, negativity, and irritability How do you tell the difference between normal sarcasm and negative thoughts and those that are a sign of burnout? Humor is usually involved. I have friends who are just normally full of smart, biting remarks about their jobs and their lives, but they are not in danger of burnout. They are generally guilty of trying to be funny. On the other hand, I know persons who are cynical and negative about everything, and they are not trying to be funny. They take their situations seriously, and cannot see the positives at all. What is normal irritability, and the kind that is a sign of burnout? Normal irritability can come and go with a change o scenery or a change of conversation. Those who are chronically irritated, and are heading toward burnout are generally stuck in a rut that takes more than a simple change in the situation. So, how do you combat cynicism, negativity and irritability? 1) For every negative there is a positive reaction (burnout physics?)- Make a list of all the negative things about your job and career--for every negative, list a positive. The positives will usually outweigh the negative. 2) Make a conscious decision not to speak- cynicism is usually expressed aloud, and often makes others uncomfortable. Sometimes the only way to break a negative emotion is to to allow it no room to spread... Make an attempt to hold your opinions to yourself regarding job, etc. 3) Find humor in your situation, or beyond your situation- Look at some cartoons, listen to a comedian on tape, read a joke book. Humor is an excellent remedy to irritability. 4) Never underestimate the need for rest- I have friends that after long day, or a rough night, are at their peak of cynicism and irritability. After a nap or good night's sleep they are back to normal. Maybe all you need today is a nap. ROAD WARRIOR- Tips Check out this resource on About.com. They have an entire section for business travelers. I found an article entitled 21 Tips for Road Warriors. Here are a few of the more interesting ones: Remember your corporate persona- be sure not to embarrass the company while on a business trip. A very good tip, considering that you might have others from your company visiting those cities and hotels in the future. Call the office frequently- I guess that there are those who don't check in with the secretary when away. It never worked for me. Don't touch the hotel phone- With cell phones and phone cards, the hotel phone is changing its ways. Many hotels are advertising now with free phone calls and long distance bargains, etc. Always worth a check. So, it's Monday...where on the road are you? SUNDAY FEATURE- Leisure Ministry I Googled the term: "Leisure Ministry" and found close to 1 million entries. (Incidentally, if you Google "Wellness Ministry" you will get over 600,000 entries and "Fitness Ministry" over 900,000). Not all of them have to do with church and religious organizations, but a large portion are, and this is only reflective of churches and organizations that are web savvy. Churches and religious organizations spend large amounts of money on sports and recreation equipment and provide many opportunities for youth and adult sports leagues, as well as fitness and wellness centers across the USA. Churches are involved in leisure programming for a variety of reasons. A common reason is that churches see these programs as evangelical in nature, places and opportunities to reach people in a different setting. Some churches are involved in leisure ministry because they see fitness and health as an essential part of living a Christian life--the idea that our body is the temple of God and that we are responsible for taking care of it. Another reason is that the church is seen as the center of community life and it is there to provide programs that are good for the entire community. I have worked in church settings for most of the last 20 years, and I have witnessed only a handful of churches offering a comprehensive program of fitness and health programming. Many of my churches offered people an opportunity to participate in team sports (e.g. softball, volleyball, basketball), one has a walking track open to the community, a couple offered aerobics and weight loss programs, and some offered outdoor recreation in the summer (hiking, camping canoeing). But none had a plan for providing leisure programming in a strategic and effective way. Over the years, I have met a number of people who make their living as recreation programmers and ministers in local congregations and those who work in camping ministries, but they make up a rather small group compared to the number of churches and the number of people involved in the overall organizations. Questions: Does your house of worship have a comprehensive program dedicated to leisure and recreation? Does your church have a staff person dedicated to this areas of ministry? Does your organization have facilities and space dedicated to leisure, recreation and wellness? Why (or why not) are they involved? Great questions to ask on a Sunday.
SATURDAY SPORTS AND LEISURE It's vacation, I am in Tampa, and it is hot as blazes. People leave my little island in Japan for cooler climes every summer, but they are certainly not coming to Tampa. This is a fascinating town for sports and leisure. Golf can be found everywhere. It is relatively cheap ($17 dollars with cart this morning), and relatively quick (3 hour round). Though the temperature was 96 degrees and humidity 90, it was fun to play nevertheless. What I enjoyed most about my outing here was that the course was filled with a diverse group of people. There were the usual retired folks, and there were both men and women playing. There were teenagers walking the course, children playing with their parents, and folks from all walks of life and economic backgrounds. For me, this is what the game of golf is all about. It is not the exclusive domain of the upper class and not the snobbish sport of kings. Tonight is a trip to see the Tampa Bay Devil Rays play. They are in a 9 game losing streak, and playing in the cellar of their division. Now I have some qualms about this form of leisure. Cheap seats cost $5 dollars each (not great seats--better seats were $22), dinner was $ 10-15 each in the stadium each and parking was $10. If we had gotten better seats, had a light dinner in the park, came away with souvenirs, it would have cost about $150 for a family of four. This seems a bit steep for an evening of entertainment for a family. (Even steeper knowing that this is a team tanking like they are) I have never been involved in the high dollar sports business world, but I do know that for entertainment value, I will choose a minor league experience nearly every time (I'll tell you about you minor league ball some time). The costs are seriously less, the seats are much better, and they are geared better toward family entertainment. How will you spend your leisure dollar this weekend? FRIDAY TRAVEL TIPS These come from my actual experience. I leave on July 7th and will be flying for about 17 hours to arrive in Tampa that same evening. (God bless the international date line--though it kills you on the way back across) Things I try to do on a long flight: Sleep regular hours as much as possible- Some people try to get on the new schedule as early as as possible, others try to keep the old schedule as much as possible. I just try to get 6+ hours of sleep on a flight of 13 hours. Though I rarely manage that, it is always what I try to do. Avoid excessive alcohol/caffeine- Some flights have the bar open nearly the entire flight. If you imbibe for 13 hours, you are in for a serious hangover. Alcohol/caffeine dehydrates, flying dehydrates, and it is ill advised to drink liquor/coffee/tea/colas throughout a long flight. I might have a drink during dinner, followed by water/juice, and then try to sleep for a long while. Get up and stretch regularly- I try to get up several times during long flight and stand, walk and stretch for 15+ minutes each time. Sometimes it is impossible, but I always try. Blood clots and blood circulation problems are exaggerated by long flights. Back problems are not helped by long flights. My mental health is improved by regular stretching during a long flight. Next time you see a line for the bathroom, get up and wait...it might be good for you. Remember the size of airplane food portions- I have never met up with airplane food that I truly liked, but I eat, because I need the nutrition, it helps me to sleep, and keeps me busy for part of the trip. Though the food is not that good, the portions are just about right and normal for a regular diet. (Maybe we all need to get tiny forks, plates and platters to sustain a healthy diet?) The calories are just about right, and the sizes of the meat entrees are just about perfect. Unfortunately, we consider airline servings to be tiny and inadequate. No wonder those airline seats seem way too small, huh? STRESS PREVENTION (Rubber band man?) Stress is a natural part of life. In fact without some stresses in our life, life would not be whole. Our body is held together by muscles and fibers, and if they are not in stress, we wobble like jelly. If you have ever pulled a muscle, then you know what it is like to over-stretch one of those fibers, and then pain and imbalance in the body result. I once heard stress described as a rubber band. Without a little stress, the rubber band is useless. A normal sized rubber band cannot hold two or three pencils together, but when stretched, the rubber band can hold a dozen pencils together quite well. Our life without a little tension would honestly be quite dull. Stretched a bit, it might become exciting/fun; stretched too much and it might break from the stress. What does your rubber band look like? Ideally, it should be stretched a bit so that it can be useful, but not so much that it is painful or breaking. Read
an article that touches on similar themes: A little tension goes a long way-too much tension is the wrong way. HUMP DAY HUMOR (Weiner Eating is a Sport) I am not sure if this is funny, but I found it on ESPN.com. Seems that Nathan's Annual 4th of July Hotdog Eating Championships is now on the radar. Seems they needed instant replay to determine if a breach of rules was committed. Seems the winner visibly regurgitated some of the 50.5 hotdogs he consumed as the seconds clicked down to the end. Roll the tape Jim. Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi, a 24 year old Japanese, 113 pound mite of a guy beat out at least two 400 pounders by 20+ hot dogs to take the title (The story notes that he gained about seven pounds during the contest). Fifty hotdogs is impressive no matter what size you are. And the transferable life skills that are involved in consuming that many hot dogs are to be admired. Makes you wonder if those 400 pounders felt a little un-manly to be outdone by 113 pounder. Makes you wonder what his gastrointestinal system was like after it was over. One hot dog has been known to give me gas, can't imagine the effect of 50. Now that is one way to celebrate the 4th. Read Accusations hurled at hot dog contest to get part of the whole story. BURNOUT- Warning Signs 2 The next warning signs we will explore are two fold and complimentary: Anger at those making demands & self criticism for putting up with the demands You know that you are reaching burnout when those making demands of you in the workplace are causing you to be angry. It will usually surface first as anger at those making demands, followed by anger at self for putting up with those who demand something. Those making demands can be superiors, as well as clients. In the service industries, it is usually those who are being served that cause the most anger. According to the Maslach description (see Blog-June 21) this is the Depersonalization stage. This is where those who are making demands are objectified and become something other than persons to the one who is burned out. This anger at and depersonalization of others leads toward anger at self not only for putting up with demands from others, but often guilt for being angry at another (especially true among those in helping professions). So, how do you manage anger at others and self and deal with this symptom of burnout? Pause and take a breath. It is our natural response to say and do things in anger that are not rational and may not be helpful to the situation. By pausing and taking a deep breath, we can possibly put a break in the cycle of anger. Make a special effort to remember that everyone you deal with is a person, and they are not perfect. As angry as folks might make us, they are persons too, and like us they are imperfect. They come with lives full of issues that might make them irritating to us. They deserve to be understood. Make a special effort to remember that you are a person and not perfect. You come with a life full of issues that might make you irritating to others, and certainly imperfect. You deserve to give yourself a break. Take time to consider all the positive encounters with those persons that anger you. In most cases, persons that anger us have had numerous encounters with us. Not all of them are negative. Focus on the positive. Always remember the positives in your life. As angry as we might get at others and at self, usually, we have positive things in our lives. There are those who love and care for us, there have been awards and accolades, and there are usually many other persons that bring us joy and not anger. For every point of anger, remember two that bring joy. I would bet that if you are taking time to read this, there are plenty of positives in your life. ROAD WARRIOR- Trip Preparation My home leave begins in a few days. I actually enjoy the preparation for a big trip. Packing takes little time these days, since I have learned the secrets of traveling light (I'll share those another day). Here are some of the things I have on my checklist: Write Out Itinerary/Contact Phone Numbers- I always have to provide my secretary with this information, my family likes to have it, I keep it in a Word file that I can email, print, fax, etc. as needed. Tickets/Passport Pouch- Have a plastic, see through pouch where I keep my tickets, passport, alien cards, etc. It is very useful to keep in my backpack as i whiz through airports, etc. Always good to keep all of that stuff together. Keep a copy of passport picture page in suitcase- this is important in case of loss. This was covered in an earlier blog. To Do's on your calendar- best to make your to do list and check off things completed as you lead up to departure. I use my computer's calendar software (iCal) to do this. I forget fewer things when it is staring me in the face on the computer. Keep a copy of reservations/confirmations in a file- Everybody that I made online reservations with sent me written confirmation. Rental car, motels, events. I keep all of those confirmations in one file and it usually makes it easier to deal with at check in to have their confirmation in front of them. Prepare My Travel Billfold- I don't have a separate billfold for traveling, but I do carry a different set of cards, etc. when I leave the country. I don't need the library card or the video store card when I go to another country. I don't need most of the things I use every day in Japan while I travel in the USA, so I leave them at home. Travel billfold always includes some currency from the country I will be visiting if at all possible. SUNDAY FEATURE I ran across this article a week or two ago. It is the kind of article that shows up regularly in papers across the country--Who will lead them? --a look at the clergy shortage across the USA/world. It is true for most denominations in most areas: there are more pastors/priests retiring and dying than are being ordained for service. There are many reasons for this and the most obvious is the demographics of the aging population in the western world. The baby boomer generation that is getting pretty gray did not have as many children as their parent's generation. Another factor mentioned in the article is that ministry of the laity is being highlighted, so there is not the same need for ordained/professional staff as in years past. One of the areas that I have studied in depth, and is certainly a factor in the shrinking numbers of clergy is professional burnout. Check out my research and some articles about the relationship between leisure and burnout among clergy at: Leisure and Burnout in Ministry. The article, "Who will lead them?" included this bullet point:
Based on my own research, issues with people and the congregation tend to rank higher as a stressor than income and material support. The vast majority of clergy are quite prepared to deal with lower salaries and financial support, but they are not as prepared to deal with the stresses of working with people on a daily basis. The percentages quoted in this study were a bit higher than my own study in 1995, and it may be evidence that burnout has been increasing over the past 10 years. When 20% of a clergy population is showing advanced stages of burnout, and another 20% are headed there, there is a serious problem. A pattern across the western world is that it is getting more difficult to recruit clergy as well as keep them. Clergy under 35 years of age are making up a smaller percentage of pastors/priests, while second and even third career clergy are becoming more common. Basic solutions that are consistently mentioned: Take better care of clergy through retreats, peer and support groups, and better compensation. From my own research, clergy who exercised regularly or had active hobbies showed less signs of burnout. What is the situation in your own community? SATURDAY LEISURE There was an article that made its way to my desk this week. Seems that South Korea passed a law last year that created the five-day work week for all governmental organizations, and companies with over a 1000 employees. This year, the law goes into effect for companies with over 300 employees. The law was passed to improve the quality of life for Korean workers. Seems that the plan backfired, and Korean workers are not happy with the shorter work-week. (Read Many Koreans Unhappy With Five Day Week) In a study of 864 workers, 57% were dissatisfied with the shorter week, and only 5% were very satisfied. Seems that these workers did not know what to do with the extra time in their week and they were concerned about the extra cost of their new leisure. Many workers described that they actually worried about what to do with free time and many complained that there were not enough leisure facilities and infrastructure to encourage leisure. Here are some insights into this story:
It is not only an issue across Asia, it is an issue in North America and Europe. Though the USA has had a traditional 5 day (40 hour) week for some time, the number of hours for leisure has only decreased since the 1980's. While studying leisure in the 1980-90's, there were still sociologists pointing to the possibility of the 35 hour work week. Since then the number of hours worked per week has steadily increased, and the number of hours spent in leisure pursuits has decreased. Could it be that some of the same anxieties exist in Western culture? If given more free time, would you turn it into leisure? It's the weekend--get offline and do something! FRIDAY TRAVEL TIPS (4th of July Weekend) It may be July 4th Weekend in the USA, but that is a foreign concept here in Japan. As people clean up their grills, polish the boat, and fill up the coolers where you are, we are still cruising along in work mode in Japan. Schools are in session for most schools at least another three weeks. College don't take finals until July 14-15 at the earliest. Businesses don't generally consider shutting down until August when O-bon holidays are in play. So what have you got planned for the 4th? Some statistics that I have remembered seeing through the years:
Here are a few things I have learned over many years of celebrating the 4th: A quiet weekend at home is almost like taking vacation since so many people are away... I have almost never taken vacation time on the week of the 4th. I learned that motels always jack up the price that week, places are always more crowded, and I get more stressed waiting in line for a restaurant than I do working at any project at the house. Stay off the water if you can... I'll admit than I am not a fan of the water anyway, but I have had more bad experiences in a boat on July 4th than at any other time of the year. The rookies all show up on July 4th, so safety is reduced on most any body of water, the waterways are always crowded, and the boat landings are worse than the Walmart parking lot on the day after Thanksgiving. Try to eat better if you can... The 4th is notorious for red meat grilled until it is dry, and in large quantities. I have witnessed a number of heart episodes on the 4th because of all the red meat served combined with the alcohol consumed and the extreme heat that usually envelopes the South. It was one July 4th when I learned to grill fish and it changed my mind completely. Fresh tuna, sword fish or salmon grilled to perfection is about as good a meal as I could imagine on the 4th these days, and a whole lot healthier. Alcohol dehydrates... It is a paradox, but the more alcohol you drink the thirstier you become. The less water in your body combined with more alcohol, the more stupid you become is what my father used to tell me (and he would have known, he was a professional bartender for a time). So, don't know what you've got planned for the 4th, as for me, I will be at home and at work with the rest of the Japanese. |
© 2005, Michael Rich and Seatomypants Productions